I’ve mentioned a number of times that recovery weeks are difficult for me. They’re mentally exhausting. I don’t sit well. I don’t “do nothing” well. My recovery weeks typically consist of lots of walking and lots of yoga. You know, enough to keep the old body moving and flexible with as little impact as possible.
This recovery week was a little different. It’s been spent sitting in a hospital room with my daughter. For the most part, I’m good at compartmentalizing and separating clinical from emotional. I’m not as good when I’m away from the hospital as I am when I’m there. When I’m away I notice that the brewing of my coffee pot sounds like the expiratory sound of a respirator. The buzz of a watch notification sounds like a blood pressure machine cycling. The furnace kicking on makes the same sound as the hospital chair does when I first sit down. WHOOSH! The noises of the hospital follow me home, and the sleep is a bit fitful. But at the hospital the clinical brain sets into its zone and I relax a little. I don’t stress about workouts I may be missing. I don’t think about my upcoming race. I’m focused on the only thing that matters at that moment in time.
That MUST change this week.
Yesterday should have started back up with my normal workout schedule. I know that I NEED to be training for my race. I know that I NEED to be making decisions for my daughter. I know that I NEED to be at work, too. The compartmentalization has to be split into threes instead of just home and hospital.
Entering into Week 5 of training, it’s all about fine-tuning the balance. I foresee shortened workout durations with higher intensity efforts. I’ll pack as much punch into each workout that I’m able to do and hope that it doesn’t have a negative impact on any endurance that I may have built up over the first three weeks of training. Week 5 should be interesting because the docs expect my daughter to be in ICU through the upcoming weekend at least.
Eight full weeks remaining before my race. As I write this, I’m not freaked out by that number. After I get home from the hospital tonight and get my shortened workout in, that may change. But for now…. I’m calm.