The Looming Wall

Did somebody build a wall? Because I think I just ran into it. Hit it. BAM! Like a ton of bricks!

I don’t know the last time that I have been this dedicated to my workout plan. Since registering for the Iron Cowboy in December I have been in a zone. This is a good thing. I have been working out like a beast.

However, I wasn’t really paying a ton of attention to what I eat. I mean, I haven’t been over the top chowing down on whatever I want, but I haven’t stopped myself from having that extra cookie, or chomping a couple of miniature cupcakes, or partaking in that full fat, full whip latte. You know, those little extras that you tell yourself makes life worth living.

Then the Biggest Loser at work happened.

Criminy!

Still working out (perhaps with a higher intensity than before) but really over-analyzing what I’m eating.

PEOPLE! I’m not sure you understand the level of obsession. I took my measurements – measured everything!! I planned out my meals and snacks. I TOOK BEFORE PICTURES! It’s intense over here. 

Yesterday was a weight lifting day. I did 20 minutes on the rowing machine to warm up for my workout and then spent 30 minutes of straight weights. Heavy weights. I’m not a pansy, and I can lift heavy when I want. And I know that lifting heavy is a good thing.

But…

Today?

Hungry.

Oh my god, so hungry!!

We’re nearing the end of our second week in the challenge and the hunger and deprivation has hit me like a ton of bricks. I ran face first into the wall.

And when I say deprivation, don’t even feel sorry for me. Last night I had chocolate. One square. But enough to make me feel like I’d had some chocolate. Last Sunday I had not just one, but TWO glasses of wine. So I am not deprived by any stretch of the imagination. But I have been good. Oh, so good. I’m making conscious thought processes of “how satisfying is this going to be?” before I eat something.

I had my normal breakfast this morning. Muesli with blueberries and milk. As I was eating this morning I thought I probably needed to have a smidge more than a recommended serving size. I’ll give that some more thought.

I got busy and didn’t have my normal mid-morning snack (an apple and some almonds).

I had my normal lunch. A sandwich – six inch whole wheat hoagie roll with hummus instead of mayo, sliced turkey, gouda cheese, and romaine lettuce.

Within an hour I was starving.

STARVING!

They say that hunger pains are usually dehydration. I’d had nine cups of water at that point. Dehydration isn’t the issue.

So I began hunting for something that wouldn’t derail me. I found a Kind bar in my cubby. Ate it. Drank more water.

Twenty minutes later…. hungry.

Found a boiled egg in my refrigerator drawer. Ate it. Drank more water.

Twenty minutes later….hungry.

Still.

So.

Hungry!

Found that I had one more container of yogurt in my refrigerator drawer. Ate it. Really, REALLY want coffee. Drank more water.

I can still feel it. Nagging at the top of my stomach. More food. More food. More food.

I’m surprised it has taken me two weeks into the Biggest Loser to hit the wall. I expected it to hit sooner. But damn! The wall is brutal.

Tear. Down. This. Wall!!!

 

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