Well, well, well….
You wanna talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time? OK. Let’s do that!
I headed back to the operations manager’s office to get some questions answered and a small group of people were huddling around having a very intense discussion. The door to the main tech area was partially closed, and it’s never closed so I should have realized something was up.
When I walked in they all turned to look at me and went, “Oh, it’s only Cristy.” Um. OK. I love you all, too.
Then the lone girl in the room blurts out,
“WE’RE DOING A BIGGEST LOSER WANNA DO IT WITH US?”
First off, I’ve been feeling horribly self conscious about my weight and body lately because my scale just keeps going up. So my immediate reaction was offense. Do I look like I need to. As Michelle always says, “Fuck me runnin’!” That was pretty much my thought when they asked.
I didn’t verbally respond with offense because, miraculously, my filter kicked in and I took that moment of pause that is usually required for me to not blurt out what my brain initially thinks before responding.
My reaction to them was, “Sure, I’ll join you.”
I’m going to put it right here. There is no way that I will win this challenge. The techs who are joining in are in the upper 200 – low to mid 300 pound range. Even going off straight percentages, I can’t compete with that. So I’m joining a challenge that I know I’m going to lose. Why on earth would I do that to myself? It’s simple.
I’m healthy and strong. I don’t look like I looked 20 years ago. Hell, TEN years ago, for that matter. But I’m healthy and strong. And I’ve evolved enough to know that looks aren’t everything. I’m healthy and strong. Have I mentioned that already? I’m very fortunate. If I am healthy and strong, shouldn’t I be helping and encouraging others to be healthy and strong also? Especially people who have some pretty big health issues because of their size and inactivity level. If I have an opportunity to positively affect another persons health, shouldn’t I do that? Even if it means I lose. Because really, if I’m helping someone else achieve a goal that they otherwise would not achieve, doesn’t that mean I win?
So. I’ve joined a challenge that I know I can’t win. And yet I feel like I’ve already won. It’s good to have perspective.