How NOT To Train

I’m no expert.

I can’t set you up with the perfect training plan. I can’t tell you the percentage of carbs versus proteins versus fats that YOUR body needs.

I can tell you what kind of foods I like. I can share exercise tips that have helped me.

I can tell you that usually I’m smarter than the average bear.

What I will tell you today (because it’s important) is what you should never do. Not ever.

Get distracted. Never get distracted. That’s right. You heard me. Getting distracted is the devil. It’s totally unavoidable, but still…just don’t do it. I’ll tell you why.

Last night I got home from work to a whiney ass dog. He’s been super whiney lately. Partly because he’s bored, I’m sure. So I thought I’d take him to the pet store. I needed a new collar for him anyway because Luna has nearly chewed up his existing collar. So I figured I’d just take him on a little trip to the pet store, get him a new collar, get him a new toy, get him out of the house and into a public place for a little healthy socializing, and then….after I got that all done I would go do my workout.

As we were driving to the store he was not settling down in the back seat. He’s normally a champion car rider. LOVES the car! So I thought I’d better walk out some of his energy before going into the store. We made a little detour and headed to the Greenway and took a two mile walk.

He was a champ in the store. Super well behaved. Visiting with all the people. Enjoying the treats the people gave him. Let me try a couple different collars on him. Picked out a new toy. Then we headed home.

I put the treats into his toy and spent a little bit of time showing him how to get the treats out of the toy. Ate a brownie while I sat on the floor with him. Got him all settled in.

Went for my run.

Two miles into my run I thought, “Man. I’m exhausted.” It had been a VERY frustrating day, and that tends to tire me out more easily than non-frustrating days do. I pushed through and finished my run (kudos for not quitting). Then I headed home. As I was heading home it occurred to me that I had not eaten anything but the brownie before my workout. That is not like me. But the dog. It just skipped my brain. But, I’d be home soon and would eat a bowl of cereal with some fruit.

The dog greeted me at the door with his whining. Oh my god!! I sat down on the floor with him to show him again how to operate his new toy. He just wanted to be all over me. Had no interest in the toy, so I sat there and pushed the ball around for him and played with him. While I was playing with him, I added my bowl of cereal and fruit into my fitness pal, logged my workout, then retreated to the basement to do my post-workout yoga.

It was a struggle. I could hear Mack upstairs crying because I left him up there alone. Too distracted to really focus on my yoga so I stopped my sequence early and headed back upstairs. Snuggled the dog a little. He was acting like he wanted to go out, so I changed into my swim suit to head out to the hot tub while he did his thing and enjoyed the cold air. After a stressful day, I thought a large glass of wine sounded really good, so I poured it, turned the outside TV on, and headed for the hot tub. Mack was HAPPY that I was coming outside with him! He pranced around like a little pup and I was finally able to get some peace from his whining and relax.

I spent 45 minutes in the hot tub, sipping my wine, watching Idiotest, and basically unwinding.


I got out of the hot tub.

Stumbled out of the hot tub.

What the ever-loving hell.

I had not eaten dinner. I had not eaten anything since lunch time (11:30am) except the brownie. It was 10:00pm by this time.




To the point of wanting to throw up. I hollered at Mack so we could head upstairs and into the house. I got a bowl of cereal and practically poured it down my gullet. Same with water.

Within ten minutes I was no longer feeling nauseous.

My Public Service Announcement for the day:


  1. Do five miles worth of a workout on an empty stomach.
  2. Sit in the hot tub and drink wine on an empty stomach.

All you need to know.



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