At What Point

My brother posted a picture for Throw Back Thursday of some of my younger siblings taking a break with Dad after working all morning on a project. The picture made me smile. And then the comments that were posted just got me all weepy and missing him.

It’s been months since he died. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like an eternity. Regardless of all that, the pain does not lessen. At what point does it ebb?

At what point will I be able to let go and change my FB profile picture?

At what point will the random tears at work stop? Weird, random tears.

At what point do I hear certain songs, LOTS of songs, and not instantly begin crying?

There are some days that go by where I don’t even think about him. Life seems pretty normal. And there is really no rhyme or reason to what makes me think of him and miss him so horribly. Today is one of those days.

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He always loved having his daughters around. Even at the end. Or maybe ESPECIALLY at the end.

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2 thoughts on “At What Point

  1. Grief is so tricky. Sometimes it’s the little things that are the hardest; the smell of my MILs perfume or the unnerving feeling that I keep seeing her when I’m out and about. There was some solace in that though.

    I’m not a religious person, but there was a sense that she was no longer limited to her body and accessible only on the phone or when we were visiting. It was like I noticed her everywhere.

    Sending love, Cristy. 💛

    • Thank you, B. I have way way more good days than bad. I see my dad in a lot of my weird quirks. He’s always with me. Some times it just hits hard that he actually isn’t with me. I know you totally get it.

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