Health and Fitness, Running

Domo Arigato

You know how I always say how much I hate treadmills?


They’re boring. No change of scenery. Time passes so slowly. It’s mundane. I’m not talented enough to RUN on a treadmill and watch TV at the same time. I’d end up as one of those funniest home videos, face planting onto the treads as I lose my balance. I can watch TV while I walk on the treadmill, but if I’m going to just walk, I’d rather go to the mall and get some people watching in at the same time. So, yeh….it’s really difficult for me to motivate myself to run on the treadmill. It’s gotta be pretty cold and gross outside before I succumb.


I love my treadmill. I gotta say, “Thank you, Treadmill, for being a part of my life.”

Why, you ask?

To tell you the story, I should give you the back story. Or the backend story, depending on your perspective.

Mark spent the first half of the week pretty much sitting on the toilet. That’s all. In bed or on the toilet. Three of the girls I work with spent the better part of the week sitting on a toilet. There is some sort of vicious intestinal bug going around. With all the sickos around me, I have taken extra care to avoid it as much as possible. All the the time that I have spent around my dad has made me extra vigilant about the very basics in cold and flu prevention. The last thing my dad needs while he’s battling cancer is to have me bring a stomach bug home.

That’s pretty much the whole back story. People around me are sick and puny. Not much of a story. Sorry if you got your hopes up for something spectacular.

Today I was doing my Saturday workout, even though it’s Sunday. (I did my Sunday workout yesterday.) It’s the workout that I talked about here. Today it went something like this:

  • Start up the treadmill and walk 5 minutes at 3.0 mph to warm up.
  • Kick it up to 4.5 mph to start my 1 mile run. (Yes, I realize that some of you can WALK at 4.5 mph.) Stomach begins gurgling a little bit around half mile.
  • Hit the 1 mile mark, stop the treadmill to do pushups.
  • Rush to the bathroom, which is maybe ten feet from the treamill.
  • WHOA, buddy!
  • Do my 20 pushups.
  • Hit the toilet again.
  • Hit START on the treadmill and begin the next half mile run.
  • Stop the treadmill after .18 miles and hit the toilet.
  • Start the treadmill and finish up the half mile.
  • Stop the treadmill to do 20 squats. Are squats really a good idea at this point?
  • Success!
  • Hit the toilet again.
  • Start the treadmill and begin the quarter mile run.
  • A bit of gurgling, but managed to finish quarter mile.
  • Stop the treadmill and do 20 plank jacks.
  • Pondering the toilet versus the next quarter mile.
  • Start the treadmill and begin the quarter mile run. Not horrible.
  • Stop the treadmill to do 20 squats. No issues.
  • Start the treadmill to being the half mile run.
  • Made it! Stop the treadmill and head to the toilet.
  • Do 20 pushups.
  • Start the treadmill one (hopefully) last time to begin the last mile run.
  • Legs. On. Fire! Kick the treadmill down to 4.0 and run excessively slow.
  • Two minutes at 4.0 mph.
  • Increase treadmill to 4.1. Feeling OK, keep it here for a minute.
  • Increase treadmill to 4.2. OK. Let’s try 4.3.
  • Stay at 4.3 for a couple minutes, increase it to 4.5.
  • And….we’re back on track!
  • Finish the mile. Take a pic of the display so I know how to log my run.
  • Kick the treadmill to 3.0 to do a five minute cool down.

For as much as I complain about having to run on the treadmill during the frigid months of winter, I’m very grateful to not have to be out on the road under situations like today. Had I not had a treadmill, my stomach would have meant the end of my workout for the day. As it is, I was able to complete it.

So, thank you, Treadmill!


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