I’m just going to come right out and say it:
There! Much better.
I normally do pretty well during the winter and don’t get down and out, just dying for Spring to make an appearance. I stay pretty chipper, really. This winter, though, has been especially difficult. And there isn’t that one thing that I can pinpoint and say, “THIS is what is causing the blahs.” There are so many people that have things so much worse. I truly have no right to complain about a thing. I have a great husband. A house that’s paid for. Terrific kids. Beautiful grandbabies. Furry, snuggly critters. In the grand scheme of things I have everything a person could want or need.
I’m just blah. So many external forces at play that cloud my mind. It seems wrong to have everything I need while people around me are struggling and suffering. Sometimes it’s overwhelming and I get bogged down with…I don’t even know.
When I was a young girl one of my friends was really struggling. My mom didn’t think I should hang out with her because she was a bad influence. But she was my friend and I thought I could help her. I was always very compassionate and had a huge soft spot for the underdog and those less fortunate than me. My mom said, “OK, just don’t let her drag you down in the process of trying to lift her up.” I think that is some of what’s going on with me right now. I feel like my empathy for others is almost dragging me down. Does that make sense? There’s just so much sadness that rests on my shoulders. And the coldness of winter seems to really exacerbate that. And here I sit. In this weird funk that I’m having a difficult time climbing out of. I feel like I’m constantly on the verge of tears, especially if I’m not busy.
I think I just need to go for a run. I haven’t gone in two weeks because of a minor injury on my foot. Tomorrow is the day I was going to go out for a bit of a run and see how my foot does after a couple weeks off it. I know that’ll help. Being cooped up inside has never been good for me. Fingers crossed that it helps.