Out In The Cold

Wanna know what I’m doing right now? No? Then click away because I’m going to tell you.

I’m having coffee. Getting ready to get into the shower. Getting ready to head to the city to have “Christmas” with my husband’s mom, sister, brother and sister in law. It’s been my plan to go into the city since two weeks before Christmas. For more than a month I’ve had this on my calendar.

Know what Michelle’s doing? She’s at her wedding venue with her soon to be mother in law. Do you want to know when I found out they had an appointment at the wedding venue? Last weekend. Do you want to know if I was told ahead of time that they were even going out to the wedding venue? I wasn’t. Do you want to know if Michelle was told they were going out to the venue? She wasn’t. Not until the appointment was set.

I got a phone call last weekend from Michelle and she was almost in tears but couldn’t really talk because she was in the car with her fiance and his mommy. (Why, yes, I meant that to sound as rude as it sounded.) That’s when she asked what I was doing this weekend. That’s when she found out they were going to the venue today. At the time she called, they were on their way down to meet with some wedding planner lady about some center pieces. What’s that, you say? You thought we had already decided on the centerpieces? Well, you thought right. We had already decided on the centerpieces.

Aside from the centerpieces, my husband and I have a friend who is a wedding planner. She has already said that we could use whatever we needed FOR FREE. All she asked is that we make sure to wash the linens before we returned them to her. Do you all know how much FREE is? It’s free. It doesn’t cost a dime. It’s well within my budget. I’ve photographed a wedding that our friend has done. I know that it is nice stuff. So it’s not one of those “ya get whatcha pay for” things. It’s nice stuff. For free! And now. This very moment. As we speak. Michelle’s soon to be mother in law is signing a contract to rent the very items that I was going to get for free. Guess who is not paying the 600+ dollars for the rented equipment?

I wish this was a one time thing. This “being left out in the cold” thing. But it isn’t. Mother in law picked the venue. They went to check it out the day I had my 10k in the city. I found out they were going maybe a week before. I had that race scheduled for MONTHS. It’s like she waits til the last minute to schedule things because she knows I’ll already have something else scheduled. I mean, rationally, I’m sure she doesn’t do that. But in my pissed off state of mind I’m pretty certain it’s a plot!

Michelle came over one night this week almost in tears over the whole thing. She is supposed to be enjoying this time in her life. Planning her wedding. Looking forward to a bright future. This is supposed to be fun, quality time with her momma!!! It’s not supposed to be a tear filled time with planning that has been usurped by her soon to be inlaws. I told her point blank that I would have a discussion with B but she said no. She has to live with this family for the rest of her life and doesn’t want any drama. So here I am. Biting my tongue. Watching my baby cry. And becoming more pissed off by the day.

There is a black cloud hovering over this wedding. I feel angsty. I feel worried for my daughter’s future happiness. I’m the mother of the bride who has never felt like the mother of the bride. And it fucking sucks! I’m convinced that Momzillas are only Momzillas because of Mothers of the Groom!

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