Probably one of my biggest pet peeves in the world, even worse than those trying to shove religion at me, is the whole foods people who want to preach at me, look down on me if I eat a cookie, or tell me how I should do my workouts. I think I’ve become so accustomed to ignoring the religious zealots that they no longer phase me. But I work with whole food zealots who don’t seem to know when to shut the fuck up. For example!

Every year my husband and I buy a side of beef from a local farmer. We do this for a number of reasons: It’s more economical. It keeps the dollars in our local community. The beef is free range and not shot full of hormones and antibiotics. It tastes better than what I can buy in the store.

I try to eat as healthy as I can. I make wise choices when it comes to my food. There are some items that I won’t give up. I love my coffee creamer, which is full of bad-for-you shit. There are “all natural” options of creamer and I’ve tried them but I don’t like them. So I have my chemically infused creamer every morning in my coffee and it makes me happy. Do NOT try to take that away from me or lecture me because it isn’t a healthy option. The other is my peanut butter. I’ve tried the all natural peanut butters and I don’t like them. I will continue to eat my Jif or my Peter Pan peanut butter because I like it! So just back off the peanut butter, people! Those two things are my consistently unhealthy choices. There are other items here and there that I eat (hello, donuts) on occasion just because I want it. I know it’s bad for me. I do not need anyone to tell me about it!

The people at work know that I really watch what I eat and try to eat as whole as possible. Yet there is one person that cannot let me get away with it. She’s a whole foods freak. Or so she says. She also is a huge vitamin freak. To me, these two things don’t go together. How is popping a vitamin instead of getting that nutrient from food a “whole” option? A topic for a different day, perhaps. Anyway, yesterday the subject of beef came up. I mentioned that I bought mine from a local farmer. Ms. Wholefoods chimes in with, “But does your local farmer shoot them full of hormones, because mine doesn’t.” I said, “No hormones.” She persisted, “Antibiotics?” “No antibiotics.” Obviously, not good enough for her yet. “Did you know that the type of grass a cow eats determines the healthfulness of the meat? Have you ever heard of Kobe beef?” I nod (and may or may not have rolled my eyes). “Yes, I’ve heard of Kobe beef.” And then she proceeded to educate me as to why the way I buy my beef is not the healthiest option for buying beef. At this point, I go into the same posture that I do when my dad is lecturing me. Arms folded across the chest. Poker face fully intact. Eyes set forward so as to ensure no accidental rolling. Tongue bit so that I don’t get fired for something I might say. Mind disengaged so it doesn’t explode. And I let her ramble. I guess it makes her feel good to know she is so much smarter than the rest of the world.

Working out. I kind of consider myself to be a workout beast. I work hard! Although progress is slow, I am seeing progress. I read everything I can get my hands on regarding new studies where weight loss, workouts, overall health are concerned. I consider myself to be fairly well educated in the field of all things relating to health and fitness. I’m obviously not an expert, but I do keep informed and try to always practice what I preach. The other day at volleyball, one of my teammates (who happens to be a facebook friend) goes, “Holy cow, woman. You are becoming a running machine! Why are you running so much?” Let me just clarify here that I run about three days a week. Two of those days are two mile runs. I try to get a little longer run in on the weekends. So it’s not like I’m running hundreds of miles a week or anything. I said that I was making a feeble attempt at getting rid of my spare tire, and I jiggled my spare tire as a point of emphasis. I should have just said, “Because I enjoy it.” But I didn’t and the lecture proceeded. “Oh, honey, you need to be doing some core work. Situps, crunches. That kind of thing. Running isn’t going to get rid of that spare tire.”

*sigh*

I should have pulled out my phone to show her the challenges that I’ve been doing in addition to my runs. But I didn’t. Because it is futile! You can’t explain to someone that cardio is key to losing belly fat when they firmly believe that crunches and situps will spot-reduce. So I stood there, arms folded across the chest. Poker face fully intact. Eyes set forward so as to ensure no accidental rolling. Tongue bit so that I don’t hurt someone’s feelings from something I might say. Mind disengaged so it doesn’t explode. And I let her ramble.

Sorry Ange and Ann if your heads just exploded. I know how you feel about this topic!!

In other news, I just signed up for this seminar. You know, in order to continue the process of keeping myself as well informed as possible.

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