Prepare for word vomit. Lots to say. No train of thought with which to say it.

  • The girls at work were asking me how my procedure went yesterday so I was giving them the poop. No, wait. I was giving them the scoop. One of the girls asked how the “post procedure” events went. Impish grin on her face and all. Her husband has had a colonoscopy so she understood that the air they pump into your colon has to escape somehow. Our office is not a quiet place. There aren’t many secrets among us. We’re one, big dysfunctional family. So I told her that as I was coming out of the anesthetic I heard them kind of talking in the OR. And on the way down the hall I heard the sound of farting. A very long, drawn out fart, and I was coming out of the fog enough to realize that it was coming from ME! All the way down the hall. My brothers would have been proud. One of the guys that I work with was listening to the story and goes, “Thar she blows! Self propelled. Somebody stop that bed!!!” We were howling!
  • Speaking of brothers. I got a letter from my brother. The one in jail. The one who has been preaching to me. He apologized. Profusely. Told me that he would respect my “no talking about religion” boundaries and apologized for not respecting those wishes when I first asked. I was shocked. He has never been one to apologize for anything. I imagine that having no communication from me for months might have opened his eyes a little. I had been the only one in the family keeping in touch with him (besides the parental units). It seems that stark loneliness is eye opening. Who knows. Baby steps. I’ll take them.
  • As you know (or maybe you don’t), I have been on the hunt for the perfect running shoe. One shoe is fabulous on mah bawls. One shoe is great on my ankles. My husband is consternated that I need a new pair of running shoes after spending over 100 bucks on the pair that I bought not all that long ago. A friend of mine suggested Fleet Feet in St. Louis so I will go there the next time I’m in town. But in the interim I really needed something to work. I bought some heel inserts thinking that it would help with the heel issue in my shoes that help with the ball issues. Holy shit, was I ever wrong about that!! It really threw my foot into a funky angle and that run was painful. So I went down to my local Wally World where they have a Dr. Scholls foot analyzing machine. I whipped off my shoes, stood on the machine, and followed the directions. It told me the type of insert that I needed for my feet. It said that I had flat arches. I did not know that. My arches don’t look flat. But that’s what the machine said, so I picked up the recommended insert, paid my 50 bucks, and left. Because spending 50 bucks on inserts is SO MUCH BETTER than buying a whole new shoe. (Trying really hard to not roll my eyes right now.) Before my run today I took out the factory insert and put in the Dr. Scholls insert and went for my run. OH MY GOD, people!! It was a great run. I felt strong. I felt fast. I felt no pain! None. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Pain free run.
  • Speaking of running, I had my fastest average minutes per mile run. 12.11 minutes per mile. On my 10k I averaged 12:32 (something like that) minutes per mile. On my normal runs I average anywhere between 12:30 and 13:30 minutes per mile, depending on how many hills there are in my way. But today…12.11! BAM!
  • Speaking of hills. I ran UP the big ass hill that I always walk up. Always, always, always! I am forever telling people, “Momma don’t run up no hills!” But today. With my fancy inserts. I ran up the motherfuckinghill!
  • Today somebody told me I was looking skinny! Knocked my socks right off! I have been busting my ass and I don’t see any improvement. But today somebody noticed improvement. And it wasn’t Mark.
  • Over the weekend we had our annual Thanksgiving dinner with our group of friends off the grid. We have quite the diverse group of people out there. Business owners. Retirees. Disabled. Terminal. Salt of the earth, every last one of them. One of our group just had his last pet scan that told him the cancer he’s been battling is gone. He’s now in the process of building back up strength that the toll of the chemo and radiation took. One of our group begins his cancer treatment this week. I found out the day I got there. Mark told me before I headed over to the cabin where we’d be having our get together that Big Dan was diagnosed with cancer. He wanted me to know about it so that I wasn’t blind-sided. It’s the same kind of cancer that my friend, Dale had (and has subsequently recovered from). We all had a wonderful evening together and I truly couldn’t ask for a better group of friends. As Big Dan and his wife were getting ready to head out everyone had to get their hugs in (we’re kind of a huggy group). As I hugged him and wished him well I didn’t want to let go. Just like I didn’t want to let go of Dale when he was going through it. Just like I didn’t want to let go of my CareBear when she was going through it. I have a number of friends who are cancer survivors. And I’m always amazed at the strength that they have. As I wished Big Dan well, and told him how sorry I was that he had to go through this he pulled back from the hug, looked me in the eye, and said, “It’s going to be OK. Everything is going to be fine.” Then he hugged me again and then he was gone. I look at these three friends that I’ve been so close with and I wish I were as strong as they are. They are the epitome of the invincible human spirit. If they can overcome cancer, I can certainly overcome the piddly-ass problems that I whine about all the freaking time!

Lots going on.

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