(note: I shared this with some of my peeps today and I don’t have the ability at the moment to rewrite it all, so this is a copy/paste from a different venue.)

This was a couple months ago. Her greatest joy in life is licking out the empty peanut butter container.

This was a couple months ago. Her greatest joy in life is licking out the empty peanut butter container.

OK. Warning. I’m going to be a HUGE debbie downer right now. I think I’m going to have to be making a really big decision regarding Ellie very soon. I can hardly stand it. She has deteriorated very quickly over the summer. I’ve noticed before that she’s slower to get up first thing in the morning (aren’t we all?) but lately it has been bad. I have her on Dasuquin, a natural joint compound that her vet recommended. Well, her coat hasn’t really grown back in from about the chest down since her spring shaving so I know there’s something going on. Up until the last week she has still seemed really happy. Last night when I got home she wasn’t putting weight on her right front leg. It’s like she’s got one good leg. Ol’ hop-along. When I got home from work tonight she didn’t get up to greet me. She just lay on the floor, raised her head to say hey and then laid it back down on the floor. I took Jake out to do his thing and she wouldn’t get up to go outside. So I let her continue to lie there. About half hour later I heard her try to make her way down the hall so I hurried out there. I could tell she had to pee so I helped her outside. She peed and pooped. She’s eating normally, too. She just seems so not herself. Friday night, naturally. I tried calling the vet but got his after hours answering machine so I’m waiting for a call back.

I can hardly bear the thought of not having her. What will Jake do? He’ll be so distraught. They’ve been together practically since birth. They’re three months apart and I got her at 8 weeks and him at 6 weeks. So they don’t know anything but having each other as companionship during the day. What will SMOKEY do? He sleeps with her/on her every night. He doesn’t care to sleep in bed with me like Bandit does. He wants to be with Ellie. I can at least rationally understand that eventually all life comes to an end. But what about my other animals?? They don’t get it. They don’t understand. And my kids. My Melissa (the one who just had a baby) has been texting with me tonight begging me to keep her alive until June when she comes home for Michelle’s wedding. I can’t do that to Ellie. It’s not fair to her. But Melissa won’t get to say goodbye. Ugh.

I gave Ellie some tylenol to hopefully help her be more comfortable. God, this just sucks so hard!