My husband and I were visiting today. One of our mutual friends (a 31 year old single female) has a younger brother who is getting married within the next year. They’re a large family. They grew up on a farm in the country. She just bought a house back by the old farm. She is a professional, making about 80k per year. She’s not dating anyone seriously. She’s not in a rush to get married. She is very focused on her career.
Wanna know a fun farm family tradition?
It turns out that at her brother’s wedding, because she is the last one in the family (and older than the brother) to get married, she will “get” to dance in a pig trough at the wedding.
You did not misread that. The last one in the family, especially if they’re an older sibling, especially if they’re a SISTER older sibling, has to dance in a pig trough at the reception of the second to last person’s wedding.
When Mark told me this I. Went. Off!!! I can’t even think of a more archaic, patriarchal, anti-woman sentiment than this. It is a disgusting, inappropriate ritual! I can’t think of anything more humiliating than dancing in a pig trough just because you had the nerve (as a female) to pursue a career and enjoy life on your own without being encumbered with family responsibilities. Who in the fuck makes up these rules?
Mark laughed at me. He couldn’t believe how worked up I was getting. After all, it’s” just a silly little tradition among farm folk.” I strongly pointed out that it is degrading and puts women back in the place they were in decades ago when hundreds of women were imprisoned for fighting for their rights as human beings. How keeping to these “silly little traditions” is a slap in the face of the memories of those women. How it is a last ditch effort of the old patriarchal generation grasping at keeping women in their place. After me little, uh, tirade Mark giggled and goes, “If we were farm folk, Ann would be dancing in a pig trough.” I know he was joking but I nearly snarled as I said, “Over my dead body. Over my dead, fucking body!!!”
Why are these things still happening in 2013!? Completely fucking ridiculous!