Best Laid Plans Part 25

Why is it that once I get a plan put together God seems to laugh in my face and go, “Take that, Bitch!”?????  OK, sorry. I can’t really see God saying “bitch” but he might use some other fun vernacular to taunt me. So for argument’s sake I’m going to go with “Bitch.”

I’m pretty sure that karma from things I’ve done in another lifetime is reaching out its long arm to say, “Whazzup!?” [interrobang] It’s a multi-faceted payback, not just confined to one area of my life.

For instance, I have always identified as a thin person. Even now (when I complain every day about being fat) I identify as a thin person. I know I’ve said this before, but it SHOCKS me every time I walk in front of any sort of reflective person because I’m all “Whoa! Who’s that fat chick?” So I make plans. Workout plans. Eating plans. Plans to become that thin person again. I have been good about sticking with my eating and workout plans, but let me tell you. It hasn’t been easy.

As I mentioned last week, I took a stupid fall on my birthday and banged my pride and my knees. The knee that I took the direct hit is fine. The one that landed on its side is causing me some pain. This interferes with everything! I have not cut back on any of my workouts and have just pushed through the pain and the pain isn’t getting worse and until it does, I’ll keep pushing through it. But damn it!

I’ve been very good to stick with my eating plan. After the holidays and all the shit that people brought in I figured everyone would be tired of treats. But NO. Yesterday afternoon one of our guys brought in cookies and walked down the hall handing them out to everyone. This morning one of the girls brought in donuts (and you all know my weakness for donuts). Another guy brought in some chocolate covered cherries. Puke if you will, but I love chocolate covered cherries. One of the girls at work keeps “forgetting” to bring her lunch in so she asks every day “I’m going to [insert some scrumptious fast food location]. Do you want anything?” My days have been filled up with “No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you.” It is a struggle! Do you know how difficult it is to eat an apple and yogurt for a snack while everyone around you is eating a donut??? DO YOU????

And speaking of eating, occasionally I get this pain in my side. When I press on it, it’s sore and tender. I’m pretty sure I know what it is. It’s my body saying, “I like my fat! I’m going to hang on to it as long as possible! I’m going to thwart you at every turn of the road!” My body hates me, obviously. Fingers crossed that my brain is stronger than my body!

And then!!


Since 2009 I haven’t been on a cruise. First world problem, yes. Nevertheless, it is MY first world problem, therefore I shall bitch and moan about it. So I have been planning a cruise. I’ve drooled over Carnival’s website for the past three months. And now? Some things have come up that might make it impossible for me to book my cruise for September. It doesn’t mean that I won’t get to go, but that I may need to find another time to go. I’ll know for sure in a couple of weeks whether or not I have to readjust my plans. If it were just MY plans I’d just wing it and not fret. But I was going to be going with some really, REALLY fun people and if I have to change things up then I’ll miss out on all the fun they’ll be having without me.


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