Cats In Trees

Today’s photo a day challenge is Hats. I think that my creativity has about melted and I couldn’t come up with a single clever way to display a hat. Not only that, but all the cutsie hats that have ever existed in my house left when the kids moved out.

Instead, I think I’ll tell you about my fucking cats. We all know that kittens are enamored with shiny things: ornaments, tinsel, tree lights. So it wasn’t a huge surprise that I cursed Bandit last year when she was a kitten destroying my tree. This year she’s a mature cat who has had some difficult life experiences and should be more settled down and not so prone to climbing the tree. Should be. ISN’T!

I put my tree up a week and a half ago and have been constantly battling with the damned cat to keep her out of the tree. I’m sure you remember this picture from my photo a day challenge:

Christmas balls. We call them....Shards!

Christmas balls. We call them….Shards!

I don’t know if I showed you this picture:



This is fur. Fur up at the top of the tree where that damned Bandit climbs. It’s difficult to discipline her because I hadn’t been able to catch her in the act. I have had to put them downstairs when I’m not home in order to save the tree. This means that Bandit can’t sleep with me, which makes both of us a little sad. The problem with shutting them downstairs is that my door doesn’t latch tightly so the first day I pushed a chair in front of the door so they couldn’t get up. I’m thinking that Smokey and Bandit work well as a team because they managed to push the door open even with my kitchen chair in front of it. I have a tall dining set. The chairs are not light. But those fucking cats managed to push the chair out of the way and get to my tree. So I had to do this:


There is no way those cats can move the table. It’s heavy. Hell, I can barely move the table! I’m telling you, it’s getting desperate at my house. Coming up with ways to keep the cats out of the tree (short of a super soaker) has been a challenge. Well, Mark fixed the door so I no longer have to lug the table in front of it. Thank goodness, because that was a pain!

I believe that I have whined about the damned cats in the tree more in the past week and a half than I have whined about anything in my life. Even with all my lady-bit issues that I dealt with I didn’t whine like this! And my friends. God knows I love them! They have been doing their best to keep me laughing about the cat issues and have lovingly (I think) been posting things to my facebook wall.


This got posted TWICE^^^! Once by one of my co-workers and then a few days later by the lovely @lex.


Then there was this one^^^^. Posted by one of my friends that we hang out with “off the grid” most weekends of the summer.


My sister in law posted this^^^^ with a note that said, “This should help you understand.”

Each time something is posted, I burst out laughing. Mark goes, “Why is it funny when someone posts something on facebook, but when I laugh at the cats in the tree I’m being unsupportive?” Well, that’s a very good question. It’s just the way it works.

So, this is the season of Christmas Angst. Every time I re-string a ribbon, or re-place a ball, or re-shove a filler ornament I get stabby. And I swear that I’m never again putting up a tree. And that next year I’m just going to cancel Christmas all together. But everyone knows I’m bluffing. I just keep on re-decorating the fucking tree and glaring at the fucking cats and laughing at the ridiculous cat Memes that people put on my facebook.

And now…I have to figure out what to do about the damned HAT!

One thought on “Cats In Trees

  1. Pingback: Remember This? | All You Need To Know

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s