Are you thinking that I’m going to complain about taxes? Well, you’d be wrong. I would like to talk about a specific tax. It’s called “Stupid Tax.” This is what you pay when you do stupid shit.

For instance, let’s say that you get a speeding ticket. Not a big deal. We’ve all had them. Some more than others. You pay your fine. Probably about 100 bucks, depending on how fast you were going. Then you move along with life. Let’s say that you “forget” to pay the ticket. Then what?

Another good example is registering your vehicle. We all do it. Every year or two (depending on your registration schedule) we all know that our vehicle must be registered. This is not a shocking “oh my gawd, I didn’t know my plates were going to expire” moment. I don’t have a problem paying the vehicle registration. It’s a fine “tax” to me. But let’s say that you “forget” to register your vehicle. Or that you just procrastinate it until it’s too late. You pay a late fee, which is about 20 bucks, depending on how late you are.

Now. Let’s put both of these scenarios together. Let’s say that you got a speeding ticket a year ago (give or take) and that you didn’t pay it because you didn’t have the money at the time, and then when you had the money you forgot that you had to pay a ticket (insert eyeroll here because, seriously, who forgets that they have a ticket to pay?). Now, let’s say that you were on your way home from an event and get pulled over because you have expired plates and when they run your drivers license they find that there is a warrant out for you because you have an unpaid speeding ticket and because of said unpaid speeding ticket your license has been suspended so not only are you driving without current plates but you’re driving on a suspended license. Do you know what happens? They handcuff you and take you to jail. Where you stay until your boyfriend can get there to bail you out. And then the momma might have to hear a tearful girl say, “Mom, they had me in shackles! Around my waist, feet and hands!!!”

So, now (given this particular scenario), there is the 500 dollar bond to get out of jail. There will be the court fees next month for the year old speeding ticket. There will be the court fees for the expired plates charge. There will be the court fees for the driving on a suspended license charge. All that on top of the original ticket and cost to register your plates.

That, my friends, is the Stupid Tax!