Can I Have Some Cheese With The Whine?

Actually, I do NOT want any cheese! I just want to whine. So I’m posting on a Saturday, which I don’t normally do, but I figure there will be fewer people checking in to see my whiny ass post and somehow, that makes me feel better about whining.  Follow? Meh, it doesn’t matter. Let the whining commence.

Sooooo. I’m having an issue. Huge surprise, for sure. Before I had my prolapsed organs fixed (rectum specifically in this particular whine-fest) one of the big symptoms was deer pellets. I couldn’t poop out anything larger than a deer pellet. After a while, this starts to have some negative effects. When you think about the amount of toxins that are not exiting your body, it’s no wonder that it can cause problems.  The mildest of these is that my face is breaking out a bit. I can’t even recall the last time I’ve dealt with a zit. The bloating is horrible. The lack of ability to lose weight is an enormous issue. No pun intended, but holy enormousness, batman. I look like I’m six fucking months pregnant!

Well, after my surgery in January the doctor put me on a regimen of Metamucil three times a day because he didn’t want me straining at all! It could undo what he’d just fixed so I needed to give my body a chance to heal. If I hadn’t pooped within an hour of waking up I was supposed to do whatever it took to get things moving. Whether that be using a suppository, enema, milk of magnesia…whatever it took, I was supposed to pooh every morning! The metamucil worked wonders. Every now and again I’d take milk of magnesia at night before bed just to ensure that it was going to go well that first hour after waking up.

Once I had my six week checkup I thought it would still be a good idea to take the metamucil at least a couple times a day. There are some good benefits to getting the fiber. Well, I’m nine weeks post-op and the metamucil is NOT working! I’m bloated. I’m uncomfortable. At times I’m in pain. And because I’m about as vain as they come, worse than those three things….I’m NOT losing weight!

Check out my workout routine.

You can’t see the weight from the 24th, but it was 225. That’s where I started when my doctor released me to do whatever I wanted. Three weeks of pretty good workouts and absolutely zero weight loss. I know that it takes time, but I also know my body. And I know that keeping all those toxins in have a drastic bearing on my ability to lose weight. And the bloat….oh my gawd, the bloat. My stomach is so distended. If I did pics right now, you’d be amazed because I really do look pregnant.

And I eat healthy! I have the occasional snacks and naughty items, but holy fuck! I eat a ton of veggies, fruit, fiber and I’m still taking metamucil twice a day.  Friday for lunch I ate apple salad. This is apples (peeled and sliced), pecans, and yogurt (I use organic with live cultures). I ate a large portion of that. Then I had a black bean burrito on a whole grain tortilla. I put spinach in the burrito instead of regular lettuce.  You know what that got me? Gas. Lots and lots of gas.

I had to go to Walmart after work because I was running low on produce and was crop dusting the aisles. And I wasn’t even trying to be quiet about it. It at least gave me a little relief from the bloaty feeling. I guess it would be kind of funny, crop dusting every aisle hoping that nobody noticed it was me, if I didn’t feel so miserable!

When I got home and finished unloading the food I read the label of the metamucil while my berry, yogurt, and spinach smoothie ran through the blender. One of the warnings said, “Discontinue use if this product causes constipation for more than 7 days.” What. The. Fuck!!!! Why would something cause constipation that is supposed to help keep your bowels working!? I have just been so mad at myself for continuing to use that instead of relying on my normal diet to keep everything moving. So I’ll quit using that and see if things loosen up. I’m really resisting the urge to take a laxative. I just feel like I shouldn’t be putting anything that unnatural into my body. I don’t know. I just don’t know what I need to do. I know that I need to be able to evacuate all the freaking toxins. I feel like I’ve been poisoned. And it sucks!

/end rant! Monday will be better!

2 thoughts on “Can I Have Some Cheese With The Whine?

  1. Okay, its Sunday now and I was cruising the internet to find something to read….and I have to tell you Cristy, I about died laughing at your crop dusting. Glad things are moving along better. I, too,did not know that about Metamucil. All I have to do is drink a diet Dr. Pepper and everything evacuates…oh yeah, you said something about eating well and no toxins. Okay back to fruits and vegies. Slow progress here. I keep forgetting that I have to get SERIOUS about this……not so so. I’m off to walk now as my knee will allow that. Grrr….

    • Oh yah, crop dusting is funny business if it is SOMEONE else doing it!!! I’m happy to say that after two full days without metamucil, my bowels are moving like a normal person’s should move! WTF. MOAH VEGGIES!!!

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