Reconciliation

Thank god for clothes!

As I have dealt with the frustrations of the hideousness that is my poor, old, hormone ridden, uterusless body, I have come to the conclusion that I’m very grateful to not live in a nudist colony. Clothes can go a long way to disguising the lumps, rolls, dimples and all other horrendous things that go along with weight gain. This doesn’t mean that you can’t see a lump or roll on me when I’m dressed. Au Contraire! There are visible lumps. But they’re much less painful to look at when I’m not parading in front of the camera in a sports bra and biker shorts (referring to the link above).

The sweater dress allows me to wear leggings. Said leggings have a major tummy/spare tire control panel. And they are soooo comfortable. Not like the girdle of my mom’s day, but breathable, flexible and fashionable. Plus…it’s black. They say black is slimming, but there comes a point where black alone doesn’t work.

This is Mark’s favorite outfit. He’s a leg guy. Well, he’s also a boob guy. Oh, and he’s an ass guy, too. Basically, he has a great appreciation for the female body. He loves that this outfit shows off my long legs. And seriously, thank god for long legs! Being tall really helps give the illusion of “slender” and I can use all the illusions I can get. Anyway, the brown leggings have the same mid-section support that the black ones do.

Look, Ma, no makeup!  My favorite things in the world to wear are jeans and sweaters. However, the sweater does nothing to hide the muffin top. Sometimes, though, you’ve just got to be comfortable and let the chips (or fat) fall where they may! My co-worker goes, “Damn, that sweater makes your boobs look huge.” Honey. There is no “look” about it. They’re fucking enormous. Why is it that the boobs are the first place that weight goes to and from whilst on the rollercoaster? Never made sense to me.

OK, looking at these pictures, I’m realizing that I need to learn to not look so intense when I’m taking self portraits. I’ll work on that.

Today is a good day. I have good days and bad days. Today is a day that I feel fortunate that I have my issues and not someone else’s. Today I’m rational and feel like the problems that I’ve had recently are problems that I can deal with. They’re things that are not life threatening. And that’s a good feeling. After feeling so overwhelmed lately and like everything is falling apart, for some reason, I have reconciled in my brain that in the grand scheme of things I have nothing to complain about. And for that I am grateful!

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