Random Thoughts

You Can’t Make This Sh*t Up

So…Obviously, with all my blubbering about the kitty, you know we were off the grid this past weekend. And I believe I have mentioned before exactly how redneck this place is. It’s the only place in the world that I know of where nothing goes together better than 4-wheeling and booze. It is not unusual to see people riding along the gravel roads on their 4wheelers with a beer in their non-driving hand. It’s utterly ridiculous. The even more bizarre part of that equation is that there are rarely accidents. It makes no sense at all. I guess I should say that the speed limit on the main road (all gravel) is 20mph and on the ATV trails, it’s pretty difficult to really go much more than 10 – 15mph. Maybe it’s because of the slow speeds that more people aren’t injured with the incessant drinking and driving that goes on. (private property = laws don’t apply and stupidity reigns supreme)

Well, Saturday night as we were eating with a group of people that Mark met a few weekends ago, they began telling stories of their night riding adventures. I’m sorry. NIGHT riding! In the woods! I do NOT think so! Woods at night are creepy! Anyway, this group of guys was out riding through the woods at night. I’m assuming they were fairly well toasted because I haven’t seen too many people around here that don’t keep a continually mild buzz going all weekend. One of the guys in this group of people that Mark hangs out with when I’m not here has an artificial leg. I haven’t heard the story of how he lost the leg, and I’m fairly certain that I don’t want to know. The point is that he has an artificial leg and they were out riding in the woods at night and they were drinking. What could possibly go wrong?

Now, I’m not sure whose son it was that was riding with them, but there was a kid out there…teenager. He was behind ol’ One-leg when ol’ One-leg hit a tree. It jarred him hard enough that his artificial leg disconnected from his stump and went flying off into the woods. All the teenager remembers is seeing the old guy hit the tree and the leg go flying away from the body. He’s still in therapy!


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