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Can I just say without the least amount of bias that I have the best dogs in the world? They’re calm. They’re laid back. They’re obedient. Oh my gosh, are they ever obedient.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I “babysat” my grandpuppy over the weekend. She’s a very sweet Pit Bull. Perhaps just over a year old. So she’s not really a puppy anymore. She lives in a home where she is not mistreated. Never beaten. Loved and snuggled constantly. But not obedience trained. Do you all know what a Pit Bull is capable of doing when they don’t get regular exercise and a lack of discipline? Destructo-Con. That’s what she is. She can tear shit apart in nothing flat. And she’s an escape artist. She doesn’t find holes along the fence line to burrow out of like my other grandpuppy does. Nope. Too easy. She busts through the gate. Literally. She runs at full speed to the gate and hits it with the full force of her body, which causes the gate latch to twist on the post, thus opening the gate.

Ellie is an escape artist as well, but she doesn’t strong arm the fence. She lifts the gate latch and opens the gate like I would open the gate. Because of this I have a clip  to keep the latch in the locked position. Only once in all the years since we installed the fence has the gate been busted open the way Roxie busts it open. And it was Jake who barrelled through it. But he wasn’t in trouble because he was saving the cat. Two of the neighbor’s cats had Tippy by the balls (figuratively speaking since he’s been neutered) and he was yeowling! Jake went barreling through the fence to save his buddy. Ellie was right behind him. The two of them had the two neighborhood cats “treed” underneath the car in nothing flat. Tippy made his escape and ran into the house. I was happy to see my gentle giant go to such lengths to protect his kitty brother. But I also worried thinking that now that they knew they could open the gate with a little brute strength that they would leave the yard whenever they got the urge. That has not been the case. They stay put. I guess there is nothing worth hurtling their bodies into the gate just to get to the other side.

But, I digress. Roxie does NOT want to stay in the yard. Ever. And I have a huge yard. There is plenty of room for a dog to run and jump and play. There is just something about that five foot tall fence that makes Roxie feel like she doesn’t want to be there. Weird, because at her house she doesn’t have a fenced yard and the only time she’s allowed to be outside on her own is if she’s on a cable (one of my major pet peeves!). But because of her escape artist tendencies, I have to put her on a tie out. In my fenced yard!! Makes me a touch crazy.

Ellie is pretty good to play with the dogs that come over. But the flurry of motion is enough to drive me to drinking. When I tell Ellie enough. She stops and lays down. Roxie? Not so much. And with her, the more commands I give her, the more spastic she becomes. Early on Saturday said, “Roxie! Sit!” She turned and began snarling at me. Ellie was laying on the floor and when Roxie snarled at me Ellie was on her feet and next to Roxie in no time. She didn’t do anything. Just stood there and watched her. I took Roxie out and put her on her chain. What the fuck! You are NOT going to snarl at me in my own house, Bitch!  I made her stay out for about an hour, then brought her back in to give it another whirl.

Eventually she settled down. This picture was Saturday early evening. Ellie was already tired of her by then.

This was later in the evening on Saturday. Ellie was behaving herself and  laying down like I told her and Roxie would not leave her alone. She spent an hour barking in the bar (the dogs’ bedroom).

Roxie does not like the vacuum. Neither do my dogs. But they dislike them completely differently. Ellie and Jake head downstairs when I get the vacuum out. Roxie spent the whole time lunging and biting at the vacuum as I tried to get the upstairs cleaned. She was drooling, snarling, biting at the vacuum. I’ve never seen a dog react like that. Every dog I’ve ever seen has been afraid of it and run off to another room. And I let them leave the room. There are plenty of other places in the house they can go if they don’t want to deal with it. This dog has a different temperament than any other dog I’ve ever dealt with. I have no idea what kind of doggy psychology to use on her. The things I’ve done with my dogs do not work with her.

Holy hell, I sure hope I like my grandkids better than I like my grandpuppy! Yikes. The thought!!

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