In my past life, one of the biggest fights that my ex and I got into was about lying. A friend gets pregnant, asks me not to tell anyone until they’ve made the official announcement, another friend asks if “so and so” is pregnant, I hedge around the truth so that I don’t break my friend’s confidence, I get in trouble for lying. This exact same scenario happened time and time again. To me it was more important to not break someone’s trust than it was to tell a little white lie. So, in that instance, honesty is not always the best policy.
In situations other than that, I do not like lies! Be straight with me, folks. When the kids were living at home they knew that they got into more trouble if I caught them in a lie than they would have if they’d have just come clean with the issue.
Why talk about this now? My kids are gone. I don’t have to deal with lying anymore; well, from kids at home anyway. Life is good. However, I have friends who have kids who live at home. As it was getting close to closing time my friend got a call from her husband. It would seem that last Sunday the kid was at his friends house and they got horsing around and the son ended up putting the 4 inch blade of his pocket knife through his friend’s palm. Required a trip to the emergency room and stitches. The friend’s parents didn’t call my friend, thinking that the sone would fess up when he got home. They wanted to give him the chance to take care of what he had done. When the parents didn’t receive a phone call from my friend, they figured that the son must not have come clean with it. HUGE surprise that a fifteen year old boy would not come clean about something like that. They are just stupid enough to think that “if I don’t tell, my parents will never find out about it.” Because boys are dumb!
My poor friend. She had no idea what to do (except take the big-ass pocket knife away). As some of us mothers were discussing this with her and imparting of our wisdom, of course, we all had different ideas as to what the punishment should be. Ranging from extreme (that would be me, ya’ll…I’m a “lay the hammer down hard on the first offense and the chances are they’ll think twice before screwing up again” kind of mom) to pretty mild. My friend was soaking it all in. She honestly wanted some opinions.
Even though each of the different moms that I work with had varying opinions on how this particular situation should be handled, one thing we all agreed on is that had he come clean on Sunday evening when he returned from his friend’s house that the consequences and punishment would be much less severe. Screw up all you want. Shit happens. Accidents happen. Kids do stupid things. But do NOT lie to me and try to cover it up. Be honest and things go much more smoothly. In instances like that, honesty is definitely the best policy. Just ask my kids.